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First Anniversary!

1st anniversary blog with url resized

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been one year already since I started this blog. It’s been interesting to see how people from all over the world have visited, read, commented, liked or followed the blog posts I’ve written. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my little corner of the blogosphere! I hope that something has brought you insight or encouragement.

I’ve been surprised at the wide range of people that have viewed and read my posts. I see that my audience is much wider than Christian homeschool moms! But if you are a homeschool mom and are needing a little extra encouragement right now, why not consider buying my homeschool devotional Stress-free Homeschooling: 31 days to a Healthier Way of Thinking? It was highly recommended by Old Schoolhouse magazine and is available in print and as an e-book. Even those who do not homeschool have found it to be helpful. Happy reading!

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10 Truths to Meditate upon to Give You Rest in 2018

It’s that time of the year again: a time for fresh starts and hopeful resolutions to meet those goals that haven’t been met in previous years. I’m not against New Year’s resolutions; they have their place. I don’t make them anymore, though. I found they were often no more than wishful thinking or aborted new habits. Instead, I want to enter this new year not with a list of things I should change, but rather with a list of those unchanging truths that I can rest in.

That’s a curious approach, you may be thinking. Perhaps…but I see in scripture an interesting pattern: God did the work of creation, including creating man on the 6th day, his crowning achievement, then he rested on the 7th day. Man was created, then entered into the rest of God and all the benefits of God’s creative work. When God came to earth as man, in the Lord Jesus Christ, he completed his redemptive work on the cross, rested from his finished work, and we entered into that rest and all the benefits of God’s redemptive work. We have work to do, too; there are changes to be made in our lives; but all that begins from a position of rest in God’s work. We cannot transform our own hearts or do anything of eternal significance without the power of God initiating it.

So, from that perspective, I want to rest in the unchanging truths of God. Here are some that I would like to anchor my life on:

  1. I am deeply, personally, unconditionally loved by the creator of this universe. (Jer.31:3, John 15:9)
  2. I have worth, not because of anything I may have done or will do, but simply because the Lord has declared me as precious in his sight. (Isa. 43:4, 1 Peter 1:18,19, 2 Tim. 1:9)
  3. I have a purpose on this earth for which I have been uniquely crafted. (Rom. 12:6-8, 2 Cor. 9:8)
  4. God is good, is trustworthy, and is working everything out for my good and His glory. (Rom. 8:28, 1 Cor 1:9, John 10:11)
  5. Suffering is a necessary part of life, but the Lord is my comfort during trials. (2 Cor. 1:3-6)
  6. His Word is eternal; not one word of his promises has or will ever fail. (Ps. 119:89, 1 Kings 8:56)
  7. I can pour out my heart to the Lord and he always hears me and answers my prayers. (Jer. 33:3, Psalm 62:8)
  8. As a believer, I am a needed member of God’s family, the church, which reflects God’s presence. (Eph. 2:19-22; 1 Cor. 12)
  9. I have the power of the Holy Spirit within me to overcome my spiritual enemies. (1 John 4:4, Rom. 8:9-11, Rom. 5:5)
  10. I have a wonderful inheritance reserved for me in heaven, my eternal home, where there will be no more death, sickness, sin, sorrow, or pain. (Rev. 21:1-7, 1 Peter 1:4, John 14:3)

These are the unchanging truths that I wish to meditate on, appreciate, and trust in for 2018. I believe that in doing so, I will make myself available to the Lord to make those changes in me that will bring him glory.

 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT

O Christmas Tree

Every year I get to decorate our Christmas tree, often with the help of one or more family members. I love that tree, because it tells a story. It has a variety of unique ornaments on it, the majority of which were gifts or handmade by us or friends. The first tree that we purchased years ago was the floor model in a home hardware store that was going out of business. We got our tree for a deal, complete with red bows and tinsel. I remember the gratitude that we felt to the Lord for providing us with that tree. We’ve since replaced it, but the red bows and tinsel still go on our current tree along with many other decorations that we’ve acquired over time. As I reflected on our Christmas tree, I observed that it was a visual history of our family over the years, representing light, love, loss, and life.

Lights are the first decorations to go on our Christmas tree. What is a Christmas tree without lights? Those lights remind me of Jesus, the light of the world, without whom we would still be in darkness and would have no reason to celebrate Christmas. Thank God that he revealed the light of the gospel to my husband and I and to our children. It’s interesting that light was the first thing that God spoke into existence in Genesis 1:3, and he saw that it was good. Light was always a major part of God’s story with mankind.

Many of the ornaments that we decorated the tree with were handmade. They were expressions of love, given to us by dear friends or family. Some were the simple creations of our children, nostalgic reminders of sweet times crafting together. Each handmade ornament is precious, just as our children are, to us and to the Lord. We are God’s beloved, as we are reminded in 2 Thessalonians 2:13.

Other ornaments were placed on the tree with a tinge of sadness. Some were a gift from my hairdresser, who was always so generous to our family, but unfortunately lost her battle with cancer. Another ornament was purchased from the widow of a much-loved artisan. One ornament bears the name of a son who will not be with us this Christmas. Yes, our Christmas tree bears witness to losses in our lives as well. As Ecclesiastes 3:6 says, there’s “a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.”

Every year our tree is a little different from the previous year. Some ornaments are retired as they are too worn or perhaps even broken. New ones get added each year, though. This is what happens in our lives and our families as well. We are constantly changing; nothing stays the same. We are worn out at times; sometimes we are broken. But fortunately the Lord doesn’t cast us away; instead, he breathes in new life, new experiences, hope for the future. Psalm 147:3 declares that “he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Our Christmas tree is beautiful. It brings my heart joy to look at it and let God speak to me through it. It’s also a reminder to me of another tree, the one on which they crucified my Lord and Saviour, Jesus the light of the world. He showed us the ultimate love by willingly giving up his divine privileges and facing untold suffering and loss on our behalf so we could enjoy eternal life with him. He spoke life to our weariness and brokenness. “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree; so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

Just like my Christmas tree, the cross of Christ shows forth light, love, loss and life. As you decorate your Christmas tree this year, I encourage you to take a few moments to sit down and reflect on its beauty and the beauty of the One it represents. Merry Christmas!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!
Thou bidst us true and faithful be,
And trust in God unchangingly.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!

Is prayer a lifeline, or a waste of time?

I hated prayer as a child. What a useless, boring exercise, I thought. As a Catholic, I was given a beaded rosary, and taught to “say my prayers” every day. That practice consisted of touching the first bead on the rosary, reciting a memorized prayer (either the Hail Mary or Our Father), then touching the next bead and repeating the process. It was a mindless, useless tradition that served no good purpose. Even Jesus in the Bible warned in Matthew 6:7 “”And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

I was speaking with a friend the other day that is battling cancer. Although she would not consider herself a believer, she welcomes anything that might “work”, including prayer. As I reflected on our conversation later, I realized that many people have misconceptions concerning prayer. I thought I’d tackle a few of them today.

One misconception of prayer is that God requires it as a religious exercise, and that the more we pray, the more pleasing to God we are. It is a proof, some would say, of our devotion to our faith. While prayer can and should be an expression of our faith, it’s clear from Matthew 6:7-16 that the Lord isn’t interested in the quantity of our prayers, but rather the attitude of our hearts. God is not impressed with the practice of praying 5 times a day or reciting the Our Father and Hail Mary many times over; what pleases him is humility, mercy, adoration, and faith. Micah 6:8 sums it up nicely: “He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?”

Sometimes prayer is seen as a way to get what we want. If I want something (healing, a job, a boyfriend, a car, good marks, etc.) and I pray about it, then I should get what I asked for, right? I mean, if I want it, then I deserve it, and if I deserve it, then God should give it to me, right? And if I didn’t get what I asked for, then the conclusion often assumed is that prayer doesn’t work, or that God doesn’t care, or maybe I didn’t have enough faith, or maybe there is no God. These false assumptions and wrong conclusions have led many to abandon their faith or be angry with God.

The truth is that God doesn’t owe us anything. He’s our creator and graciously gives us every breath we breathe, and blesses us abundantly every day, but he does that out of love, and not because we deserve anything from him. He sent his Son to die in our place, to suffer the punishment that we deserve for our sins. He laid down his life for us. How can we have this attitude that he owes us something? We owe *him* something for all he’s done for us! Jesus taught his followers to pray “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”, not “our will be done.” (Matthew 6:10) The purpose of prayer is to see God’s will accomplished on earth, not our own.

Prayer is often defined as asking God for something. While prayer certainly includes making requests of God, if that’s the extent of your prayer life, you are missing out on what the Lord intended for you. Let me use an analogy. You will certainly make requests at times of your spouse or child (eg. “Could you pick up some milk on the way home from work?” Or, “Please take out the garbage.”) But if your entire communication with them consists of telling them what you’d like and then expecting them to do it, you wouldn’t have a very intimate relationship with them. In fact, they would probably resent you after awhile.

Making requests is only one small part of your relationship with them. You will need to spend time together, playing, working, celebrating, making memories, showing affection, discussing things, giving to each other, listening to each other, and so on, in order to have a healthy relationship. It’s like that with the Lord as well. Prayer is the means to a close relationship with God. It’s not about asking for things; it’s about spending time with the Lord, celebrating what he’s done, worshipping him, listening to his counsel, pouring out your heart to him, and ultimately trusting him to do what’s right for you. Prayer is date time with God. The verse 1Thessalonians 5:17 exhorts us to “pray without ceasing”. That means to have an attitude of prayer as you go about your day, inviting the Lord to be part of all you do. Prayer is friendship with God.

The last misconception concerns answers to prayer. If we didn’t get what we asked for, does that mean that God didn’t answer my prayer? No, I believe that he hears all our prayers, and answers according to his perfect will. We may not fully understand what his will is, though. It is not always what we expect or want. Why is that person healed, but this one dies? Why does that family seem to have everything so easy, and this family goes through so many difficulties? I don’t know, but God does. When we don’t understand his ways, we have a choice: trust him that he loves us, he knows what’s best, and he is working everything for our good and his glory, as is stated in Romans 8:28; or be offended by God, blaming him and concluding that he doesn’t love us or doesn’t exist. Jesus said in Luke 7:23, “And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.” Oh, how blessed, how happy it makes me, not to take offense on account of the Lord when things don’t turn out the way I expected. Instead, as I choose to trust him, I am blessed indeed.

Good Grief

I find myself in a season right now where I am grieving losses. Not so much the big losses, like the death of a loved one, but the little things that will never happen again or perhaps never had the opportunity to happen. My children question me sometime when I use the colloquial expression “good grief!”. Is grief really good? I think it is good; or at least, a normal process.

According to Wikipedia, “grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away. The grief associated with death is familiar to most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their lives, such as unemployment, ill health or the end of a relationship. Loss can be categorized as either physical or abstract, the physical loss being related to something that the individual can touch or measure, such as losing a spouse through death, while other types of loss are abstract, and relate to aspects of a person’s social interactions.”

I passed by a park some time ago, and I felt this pang of sorrow that I would never be taking my children to play at that park again. With 3 adult children and a teenager, this is not a recent loss. It’s been a number of years since I’ve taken any of my children to that park. But for some reason I’m feeling that loss now. I grew up in an Italian family, surrounded by cousins and aunts and uncles and others in the Italian community. I lived almost at the end of a dead-end street, with the mountains, pond, and meadow being my playground. I am grieving the fact that I couldn’t give my children that same experience, since I moved to the city, married outside of my culture, and cousins are few and far between. I’m not regretting those choices, and much has been outside of my control, but I feel a sadness that my children could not experience what I did. Other losses have been greater. The #MeToo movement has revived painful memories from decades ago that I am finally admitting and grieving over. Sometimes it takes us a long time to be aware of and face what we lost.

Aging also brings with it a gradual loss of abilities, friends, possessions, and experiences. I remember hearing that in a typical 80-year span, the first half of one’s life is generally characterized by gaining (an education, a job, spouse, a house, a car, children) and the second half is typically characterized by losses (you retire, the kids move out, you downsize, your spouse may die, your health deteriorates, etc.) Loss is an inevitable part of life. Sometimes it’s particularly painful, such as when relationships with loved ones take a turn for the worse. I believe that grief is a God-ordained process to face the reality of those losses, release our emotions, and recover from them. How can we heal if we can’t even admit that we lost something?

I’m not a psychologist, but I know two things. One, that all people experience grief and loss in their lives. And two, that there is someone who not only is acquainted with grief, but who has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; and that man is Jesus. He understands what it is to suffer loss better than anyone else can, and He is in the unique position to comfort us when we are grieving. In fact, he invites us to cast all our cares upon him, for he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). I love the comforting words of John 16:22 (NET) “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.” I look forward to that day, when my grief will be replaced with joy in the Lord’s presence!

Faith or fear?

Is your life based on faith or fear? That is the question I’ve been pondering lately. Certainly, there are many legitimate things to fear in today’s world. Terrorism, war, environmental catastrophe, children going astray or becoming addicted, health concerns, sexual assault, and identity theft, to name a few dangers, are a present reality, and fear of any of these things is not irrational.

Despite these very real dangers in our lives, the Bible exhorts us in many verses to not be afraid. The question is: why not? Doesn’t the Lord understand that these are genuine possibilities in our world? Yes, the Lord knows better than anyone what is in the heart of man and what he is capable of, but he encourages us to look beyond what we see or what might happen to who he is.

Psalm 100:5 gives us three reasons to live by faith rather than fear. It says “For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.” Rather than focusing on all the terrible things that are happening or could happen to us, the Lord wants us to turn our eyes to him and his character. He is good; he is always loving; and he is forever faithful. That means that even when tragedy strikes, he will be demonstrating his goodness, love, and faithfulness to us. He will not allow anything to happen to us that will not ultimately be for our good and his glory. He will walk with us through difficulties, strengthening and encouraging us. In Jeremiah 29:11, the Lord says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

What are the consequences of living by fear or by faith? Fear leads a person to be overwhelmed, troubled, weak, discouraged, hopeless, and reluctant to do what is right. Yet we are told in scripture that “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgement.” (2 Timothy 1:7) We can choose to walk by faith, not sight. Over and over in the Bible we are exhorted to fear the Lord, not man. In other words, trust God in the light of potential or present difficulties. God assures us in Deuteronomy 31:8 “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” When we choose to live by faith instead of fear, our hearts are filled with gratitude, joy, rest, courage, peace, and hope. I don’t know about you, but that’s how I want to live.

Learning to Let Go

Whether you’re a homeschooling mom or not, if you’re a parent, you will be faced with the difficult task of letting go of your children and allowing them to make their own decisions, whether good or bad. Of course, every parent wants their child to make wise choices that will lead them to healthy relationships and happy, productive lives. But therein lies the challenge. What if your child is choosing something that you feel is not morally right or beneficial? What if they are in an unhealthy relationship? Do you interfere, or let them work things out?

I was speaking with a friend recently who was heartbroken over some of the trials that her adult son was going through. I empathized with her pain and her desire as a mother to fix things. But I also counselled her to let him go. He is an adult now, and is responsible before God for his own choices. The Lord has given us the gift of free will, and we must also extend that to our adult children. Of course, there are consequences to our choices as well as the choices of others, but in trying to protect our sons and daughters from those consequences, we often do them a disservice. We deprive them of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and grow in maturity. (There are times, however, when someone’s life is in danger; I’m not saying we shouldn’t interfere at those times).

As mothers, when our children are hurting, we are hurting. In addition to the hurt that we feel over their situation, we may be experiencing shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, depression, or even rejection and blame from our children. They are adults, but our hearts are still broken over their brokenness. They might be lashing out at us and blaming us for some of the difficulties they are going through. How are we to respond?

One of the most painful but valuable lessons the Lord has taught me is that as long as I am holding onto my dream and expectations for that child, I will be stuck in a negative emotional cycle and relationship with that son or daughter. If I can’t let go of my desires for that child and the urge to try to control the situation so that my dream comes true, I will be miserable. I will have tied my self-esteem and happiness to that child’s choice to conform to my desires or not. I will be happy when my child…..(fill in the blank). But what if that never happens? Will I live my life in misery? No, there is a way out: and that is to surrender our children to the Lord and trust that he loves them more than we do; that he is working out his perfect plan in their lives; and that they are accountable to God for their choices, not I. We have raised our children, and now they are adults. We can pray for them, love them, and give them counsel when they are open to it, but we must let them make their own choices now.

We also need to stop taking on shame, guilt, anxiety, and rejection. If there are offenses we have committed, an apology is in order. But we shouldn’t take on the shame of our children’s wrong choices, nor continue to receive blame for offenses that we’ve apologized for. Some adult children are masters at blaming parents for all their ills in life and denying their own responsibility in how their life has turned out. As we pray regularly for our children, trusting the Lord to work in their lives, our anxieties will be alleviated. If they are rejecting us, we can turn to the Lord for comfort. He knew what it was like to be falsely accused and rejected by the very ones he loved the most.

When I got baptized, one of the choruses that we sang contained the words “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back, no turning back.” The Lord has brought that song to my mind many times in difficult trials. He has asked me, “Even if no one goes with you (children, husband, friends, whomever), will you still choose to follow me? Will you let go of what you want to see happen in other people’s lives, and follow me even if your desires don’t get realized?” When I said yes, I had so much more peace in my heart! I believe that the Lord takes us all through a similar process, where we are learning to let go of the things that we hope will give us happiness, peace, security, and fulfillment, and instead are finding ourselves in a position of rest in God’s unfailing love and purpose for us. It can be a rough ride to get there, but it’s a sweet spot to be in!

[Mar 10:28-30 NIV] 28 Then Peter spoke up, “We have left everything to follow you!” 29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields–along with persecutions–and in the age to come eternal life.